I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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