Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
