The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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