doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
