I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
