"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
3pm strippers are depressing
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
