summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
