You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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