is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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