just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
