u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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