Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
