You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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