he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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