so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
