Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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