apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
