You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
