oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I am never drinking with the goths again.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
