I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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