On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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