She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
