So drunk its hurt
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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