I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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