dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
