he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
