"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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