I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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