i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wish I only lived at night.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
