We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
