So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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