I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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