just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
