There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
