so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
