He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Randomize
