i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
