just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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