Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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