I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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