Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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