I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize