we have officially lost it.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
