Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
