He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize