First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
