I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
