THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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