there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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