question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
