I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
the liver wants what the liver wants
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
