just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
