Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
