am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
