I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize