We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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