i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
