so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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