i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
