I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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