dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
