Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
