i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This is the high leading the old right now
We don't watch enough power rangers
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
